A child custody case has a lot of decisions that have to be made. When you and your ex share the children, you will have to work together to make these decisions. It won’t always be easy, but keeping the children at the heart of the matter can make decisions a little less stressful.

There are times when it might seem easier to let your focus drift to what is the least desirable for your ex or the best for you. These thoughts are natural but they can make the co-parenting relationship more difficult than what it has to be. Consider the following ways make sure the kids remain your focus.

Address issues out of the children’s presence

There are bound to be some parenting disagreements over the course of your children’s lives. When these occur, resist the urge to battle with your ex in front of the kids. Discussions about contentious matters should take place away from the children, ideally in a private setting. If you and your ex can’t speak to each other, using written messages might be helpful. Just make sure that your messages come across as intended so that there isn’t room for misinterpretation that could lead to more problems.

Solidify the parenting plan

Your parenting plan is like your road map to the parenting relationship. It should be as detailed as you and your ex can make it. This should include basic information like who is going to have the kids on which date, but it needs to delve a little deeper. Address the way that medical and educational decisions will be made. Detail what should occur if there is a disagreement about something.

Create traditions your children enjoy

When you were married, you had traditions that you enjoyed as a family. Now that you are divorced, find new traditions that you can start with your children. These can revolve around holidays, but they can also be less structured traditions. For example, have a movie night the first night your child is with you for a weekend.

Let some things go

Don’t be afraid to take a step back from everything that’s going on, if necessary. As long as your children are safe and healthy, you probably need to just let go of any issues with your ex. Focus on what you can do to make your life better with your children instead of spending your energy focusing on what’s going on with your ex.